


The Little Cabin

by thesadchicken



Category: Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012), The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Everyone is adorable, Fluff, Found Family, M/M, oh gosh I love them all so much :'), these pirates are as cuddly as teddy bears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26072389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesadchicken/pseuds/thesadchicken
Summary: The crew exchanged a few puzzled glances. The pirate with a scarf rubbed the back of his neck. The Pirate Captain tapped his gold teeth.‘Not exactly what we were expecting, is it, number two?’
Relationships: Pirate Captain/Pirate with a Scarf
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	The Little Cabin

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, this is a mix between movie and book canon. Polly is there because I love her, but the story follows the events in the books as well.

The boy looked up at them with his big brown eyes, tilting his head to the side like a cat. The crew exchanged a few puzzled glances. The pirate with a scarf rubbed the back of his neck. The Pirate Captain tapped his gold teeth.

‘Not exactly what we were expecting, is it, number two?’

‘No, not really, sir.’

‘This happens surprisingly often. We’ll dig for treasure all morning and find something else instead.’

Everyone stood there a little awkwardly. The map they’d followed had promised gold and diamonds, or at least that was what they assumed “the most precious thing in the world” meant.

They’d made it past the piranhas and through the snake-infested jungle, then they’d climbed the mountain up to the highest peak, where they’d dug until the ground had collapsed under their feet and they’d ended up in this secret cave. There were treasures chests, but they were filled with baby food and children’s books. And in the middle of the cave was a young boy, probably two or three years old, sucking his thumb.

‘What’s your name, lad?’ said the Pirate Captain. ‘And why aren’t you a diamond?’

The child stared at him, blinking.

‘I don’t think he knows the answer to that, Captain,’ whispered the pirate with a scarf.

‘Probably not,’ agreed the Pirate Captain.

‘So… what should we do now?’

Somewhere outside the cave, tropical birds were chirping. It was lovely and all that, but it was making it difficult for the Captain to focus on the task at hand. He kept getting distracted and thinking about the time they’d hired an impersonator for the albino pirate’s birthday. The impersonator hadn’t been very good; all he could do were bird noises, and to be honest he’d sounded more like a creaking door than a bird. It had actually been quite annoying. They should have hired a magician.

 _The albino pirate is too old for that sort of thing now_ , thought the Pirate Captain with a sigh. For his next birthday he would probably prefer to hang out with his friends or go out to some disreputable bar on Blood Island. It was a shame really, because there were so many things the Captain could teach a growing boy. Like how to shove your shoelaces into the back of your shoes so people don’t make fun of you for not knowing how to tie them. Or how to run those people through if that fails.

And that’s when it finally struck the Pirate Captain. Had he been alive exactly forty-two years later, a light bulb might have appeared over his head to indicate that he’d had a sudden and brilliant idea.

‘Could I have a word with you, number two?’

‘Of course, Captain.’

All the other pirates leaned in so they could eavesdrop on the conversation, because nothing made them as curious as the sentence “could I have a word”. The Pirate Captain glared at them. ‘In _private_ ,’ he added, gently pulling the pirate with a scarf to the side.

‘What is this about?’ asked the pirate with a scarf, looking a little worried. He’d stopped using his professional voice, dropping all the “Captains” and “sirs”.

The Pirate Captain put a hand on his first mate’s shoulder and smiled at him reassuringly. ‘We’ve been together for a while now.’

‘Three years, eight months and twenty-four days,’ said the pirate with a scarf, smiling too. ‘Not that I’m counting.’

They laughed, because this was something of an inside-joke. The Captain held the scarf wearing pirate’s hand. The other pirates pretended to inspect the cave.

‘How would you feel,’ whispered the Pirate Captain, ‘if I told you I’m going to make you a father?’

The pirate with a scarf looked like he’d just swallowed seaweed. ‘Excuse me?!’

‘The boy,’ said the Captain, pointing at the child, who was now waving at the pirate with gout. ‘We should adopt him!’

‘Adopt him?’ said the pirate with a scarf. ‘You want us to… you think we should… us? Together?’

‘We can’t leave him alone here!’

‘No, I supposed we can’t…’

‘And think about all the things we could teach him. Like the proper way to glaze a ham, or how to run people through.’

The pirate with a scarf rubbed his chin pensively. ‘I’m not sure a pirate boat is the best place to raise a child.’

‘Nonsense!’ exclaimed the Pirate Captain. ‘I was raised on a pirate boat, and look how I turned out!’

The child slept in a makeshift crib, lulled to sleep by the boat’s gentle swaying and the sound of the waves. Polly was perched on the edge, looking down at him and cooing softly.

‘He looks so peaceful,’ said the pirate with a scarf.

The Pirate Captain sighed happily. ‘He has my eyes.’

They couldn’t stop staring. He was the cutest baby boy they had ever seen. It was a new and different sort of happiness. For some reason, this realisation made them both a little emotional. They leaned against each other, the pirate with a scarf resting his head on the Captain’s shoulder. The crew could be heard singing shanties in the distance.

‘Neptune’s teeth,’ the Pirate Captain shook his head slowly. ‘Do you think we’ll always be like this?’

‘What do you mean?’ asked the pirate with a scarf.

‘This happy. Do you think we’ll always be this happy?’

The pirate with a scarf looked up at the Pirate Captain with loving eyes. ‘You know what… yes, I do.’

‘Always?’

‘Always.’

The Pirate Captain kissed his second-in-command. He hummed into the kiss, and the pirate with a scarf laughed.

‘I’m sorry, number two. I just feel like singing all the time.’

‘I know. Me too.’

‘It’s like my Aunt Joan used to say: if you're going to start a family, try to stick to a bunch of misfits, a parrot, a baby and the most wonderful man in the world. Of course, Polly ended up not being a parrot, but that’s what this family is all about: accepting people no matter what they are—or aren’t. It certainly explains why I haven’t made the pirate in red walk the plank yet.’

Aboard the pirate boat, beneath the creaking boards, there was a tiny cabin. For a long time, the cabin had remained empty, with a bed and a duvet covered in sporting scenes, as well as posters on the walls of animals and baseball players. There had also been a great pile of children’s toys, none of which had been taken out of their wrapping.

Now, however, things had changed. The cabin was no longer empty. The duvet had been altered to show doodles of dinosaurs instead of sporting scenes. The animal posters remained, but the baseball players had been replaced with pop stars. And the children’s toys had all been taken out of their wrapping, and were strewn across the floor.

‘How many times am I going to have to ask you to tidy your room, Champ?’ said the pirate with a scarf, shaking his head admonishingly.

‘Sorry, Dad,’ said Champ, giving the pirate with a scarf a kiss on the cheek before running out of the cabin and onto the deck.

The pirate with a scarf heaved a long-suffering sigh, but he quickly replaced it with a smile. Leaning against the door frame, he watched Champ jump over a barrel excitedly. At the other end of the deck was the Pirate Captain, all teeth and curls. The boy ran towards him.

‘Daddy!’

‘Come here, Champ!’

This was usually when they did a bit of rough-housing. But it was different this time. The pirate with a scarf noticed that the Captain was hiding something behind his back. Two things, by the look of it.

‘What’s that behind your back?’ called the scarf wearing pirate, worried.

The Pirate Captain brandished two cutlasses: his own and a smaller, lighter one. ‘I bought Champ his first cutlass!’

‘Oh my God,’ muttered the pirate with a scarf.

He ran across the deck as fast as he could—faster even than the time they were being chased by gorillas—and plucked the cutlasses right out of the Captain’s hands.

‘I’ll take those, thank you very much.’

‘Hey!’ protested the Pirate Captain.

‘But Dad—’ cried Champ.

‘No no no, there will be no playing with cutlasses. Or swords. Or knives. Actually, I might even have to throw away all our forks.’

‘Oh, come now. What if I said _please_?’ said the Pirate Captain, trying to look adorable.

‘No,’ the pirate with a scarf shook his head.

‘ _Please_ ,’ echoed Champ, trying to look adorable as well.

It wasn’t easy to resist both their puppy dog eyes, but the scarf wearing pirate couldn’t give in. ‘You’re not responsible enough to have a cutlass. It’s for your own safety.’

‘He’s almost seven years old,’ objected the Pirate Captain.

‘I was talking about you,’ replied the pirate with a scarf, raising an eyebrow.

‘Fine,’ sighed the Captain. ‘We’ll just… count weevils or something.’

Champ plopped down in the middle of the deck, looking miserable. The Pirate Captain sat next to him, staring at the clouds with a sad look upon his pleasant, open face.

The pirate with a scarf puffed out his cheeks. ‘Alright you two. How about we go sit in the crow’s nest and watch the sunset? We can eat ham, and I promise I won’t get upset if you get grease all over the mast.’

‘If you close one eye, the world seems a little bigger,’ Champ was explaining, as all three of them sat in the crow’s nest savouring their ham and watching the beautiful sunset.

‘I always thought I’d look good with one eye bigger than the other,’ said the Pirate Captain. ‘Do you think I should get an eyepatch?’

‘Might be a bit on the showy side,’ said Champ.

‘Bit too much, to be honest,’ agreed the pirate with a scarf.

The Pirate Captain took a moment to think about it. ‘Yes, you might be right.’

The sun dropped lower under the horizon, casting dancing shadows across the water. The sea was rose-gold, the same color as the clouds. The Captain slid one arm around the scarf wearing pirate’s waist and whispered: ‘Eight years, eleven months and thirty days. Not that I’m counting.’

The pirate with a scarf turned to him, laughing. ‘You remembered?’

‘How could I ever forget?’

Champ finished his ham and started singing a shanty about sea creatures. His fathers looked at him, smiling, then they looked at each other.

‘I’m so happy, number two.’

‘So am I, darling.’

**Author's Note:**

> Remember in "The Pirates! in an Adventure with Communists" when the Pirate Captain showed Karl Marx the little cabin for the son he never had? It was a bit heartbreaking. I had to do something about it.


End file.
